So I just got out of the shower, and I was thinking in the shower about ignorance, and the effect it has on people's lives.

I realized that the old saying that ignorance is bliss, holds forever true. People really don't want to have to bother with the real world and who they really are. They would much rather have this rosy view of themselves and the world. I personally would rather have the harsh truth, and I that is kinda why I am moody. Instead of living in an fancy imaginary created world in my mind, I want to know my flaws and how I am messed, so I can fix it. This is quite different than changing yourself to fit society mind you, but the concept of self analysis is very elusive. I don't believe one can completely impartially analyze themselves, this is why we must rely on others for their input.

People are more concerned with just having FUN. What is fun anyways, and at what cost is this fun had? It is a painful subject to analyze because analysis of it will basically get you nowhere, and in turn takes the FUN out of most things. All I really have to say is most people are in for self gratification, they really don't care about much else.

The female creature: Living with girls has provided me with many insights about them. Most of them are unpleasant insights. The "maturity level" of most girls I have realized is about that of a middle school child. They have had no real reason to go beyond that stage when they got boobs, and guys started doing whatever the girl wants. Most girls thrive on attention. They require it for their personal survival. Also the value of the attention you give them, depends mostly on your popularity among other girls. It is a circularly defined concept, but honestly I don't expect much different from girls. Most girls don't analyze their behavior or action, because they see no real reason to, they don't really care how their actions might negatively effect others. Concerning attraction, girls don't know what they want, and that is why confident guys are attractive to them. They are being told by the guy what is attractive. If you ask a girl what she wants in a guy she will give the typical nice, funny, caring ... But their actions speak completely different, and in all honesty chicks piss me off because of that. Also something that I was told that I find to hold completely true, is that girls are natural actors. Why this is, I don't know, and doubt I will ever understand, because why would one want one thing and do another. I should say in all fairness is that it is alot harder for me to analyze guys than it is girls, but I feel that is mostly because guys are much more straightforward than girls. There is less there to have to analyze, because most of what guys say or do can be taken at face value, I don't feel the same can be said with girls.

In closing, this first year at college living with droves of people under one roof has provided me with alot of insight into human behavior. Many of these insights I would like to publish into a book, maybe. Although I have gained much insight I am sad to say that most of this insight is negative. I have gotten to the point where the more I get to know most people, the less I realize I like them. It is crappy but it is true.

I wish I could see more goodness in people.