So the past couple of days I have wanted to do nothing. Like I kinda wanted to do stuff but I just argued with myself out of it. I have sat around most of the past 3 days and have done nothing. I played frisbee the other night, and my body has been killing me, that just compounded the problem. I have been waking up at like 3:00 pm those days. I feel like such a bum, just doing nothing all day. I really have no real reason to do much, it is hard when I just argue to do nothing. TV has been helpful in my time wasting, I am watching TV as I write this. I wish sometimes that I could just stop watching TV and do interesting things during the day. But then I am faced with the question of who do I do these intersting things with. I don't even know if I can plan out how to do these interesting things. I kinda want to do the thing like those kids in the Coke commercial, just drive around finding cool stuff going on. Instead I am sitting here at home wasting away.

Happiness: What is it, where does it come from, is it real or just an illusion? Happiness is caused by endorphine release in the brain, but what causes it, and it must be so much more than that. I believe that true happiness is selflessly helping people, but is there more to happiness than just that. Also I try to help people selflessly and it usually ends up with them trying to push me around. They mistake my kindness for weakness, and I hate that, but what can I do about it.

I really need to start living healthier, and figure out what I am doing. Get focused and get motivated.