I am almost done with my work here in Orlando, and I am ready to leave. I miss my friends and family, and I miss people my age I can talk to. My aunt has been more than hospitable and nice to me, but I just have needs. I need my computer and internet and my records, and all that stuff. I don't know, it sounds stupid and materialistic, but I miss alot of crap. I also miss peace and quiet and my room. I am just ready to go home. I miss it.
I never really had this problem at college, because I kept busy and I had people there who cared, and shared the same situation. Here it is just me all alone. Dying slowly inside.
When I was on the train back from Fort Lauderdale I was pondering riding the rails with very few possesions, and making a photo journal of the whole trip. That would be fun, lonely, and dangerous. The rail system is probably highly regulated now because of terrorism alerts. It would still be cool though. I would also like to just start driving somewhere, not knowing where, and just see where fate takes me, and who I meet. These are all crazy ideas that I have but are too practical to actually do. If I just lived in the present that would be fine, but I plan ahead, and reflect on the consequences of my actions, and how they would influence those around me. I also plan the logistics of junk like that so I doesn't work to do spontaneous stuff of large magnitude.
On a completely unrelated side note, I have found this group on livejournal called MadRadHair. It is pretty funny, that is how I have been wasting my time as of late. People on there ask what they should do with their hair, and ask for approval on their new hairstyle. Alot of the hairstyles are pretty crazy, and sometimes hideous. It seems people on there are way overly nice. I want to post something just totally rediculous and see what they say. Is any crazy hair style bad to them? I also want to post my picture and see what they think of my hairstyle and what their suggestions would be, not that I care, but it is mostly curiosity at for their reactions. The people in this group are pretty much scenesters, and are addicted to myspace. It is bizzare to me. Oh well.
Ready to roll on home.
6 Comments:
Random Asshole...
I geuss i will say thanks for the comment on my xanga while i found it to be pretty much of an ass of you to put that on might site, i do dont get adored by all people in high school and i do not let my looks go to my head...i say that i am not that good looking...and i do help out people that i dont know. And going out everyday and Night hangingout with all my friends yeh that is exciting for me...becuz you dont know me. And guys...yeh guess are jackasses and some of them do just want sex but umm im pretty damn smart and i know what i will and will not do...i have high standers, im not some ten cent whore. And with the girls im friends with...uhh they can get there own guys...they dont need me, to have my left overs. Im sorry maybe your not happy with the way your life is or the things you've done in your life...but just to inform you...everyone needs to make there own mistakes and screw up there own ways..so that they can learn from there mistkaes...you just cant tell everyone on earth what they should and shouldnt do so they dont make mistakes...thats why no ones perfect..we all need to screw up ever once in awhile so we can learn for our selfs. And i do not think that was very nice of you to tell me i have issues...just becuz i like to hangout with my friends. And with my phone ring and my people wanting to hangout with me...umm i hope to god its becuz i actually have friends who want to hang out with me i know that people will us me sometime or another but i dont think there doin it 24/7. And all my friends are down to earth and have good personalitys...i dont hangout with people becuz of there looks...if you an asshole im not going to hangout with you...i dont judge people by that i have to be able to actually to talk them..and have an intellagent conversation...not just becuz they can go out and party all the time. And the deff. of going out during the day is to a friends house to swim or just have fun hanging and being with each other...it's not like im geting drunk every day of my life...and so what if i did. Then i would say my parents have some major problems or just dont care about me... but they do. And i know about more then u would problem kno. And you cant kno someone by what they write...do dont know the full feelings and memories and emotions behind whats writen. So maybe you should stop leaving people comments like that, and re-evalute your self...becuz your deffently not perfect..no matter how much you volunteer...so dont play like you better then everyone else...becuz in reality your just like everyone else...your just telling your self that you are and trying to make other people feel bad for having a good time...maybe try and have a good time your self and maybe you would be a little more normal!....And if you were to hangout with me then you would realize that im nothing like what your trying to make me seem like...dont think that you know someone before you get to actuall talk to them and get to know them.....
THANKS!!!!
:+:Random Not So Perfect Person:+:
Dear Random Asshole...
I thought i would be nice and read what you had writen so i could kinda get a feeling for how you are..and well i want to start by saying ur last comment was a little bit nicer but at the same time be-littleing...you say you want to help the world and that your trying to change it one person at a time...what are you trying to change the world to i would like to ask? I know that people in the world can be RUDE and UNGRATFUL and down right EVIL...but what about the people who are already NICE the people who actually CARE about others and the people who HELP others out?? You are sitting here trying to change people that you dont even know...I do not know what you think about me if im the NICE person or the EVIL one...but i would like to hope that you do not see me as the EVIL one...i help out my family and i help out people i do not know...i help more people out then i help myself...i put way to many people before myself...and what you had writen dosnt make you sound to perfect your self...now im am not going to sit here and try and "think" i know you becuz the truth of the matter is that i dont...you are just a random person that i have never meet...and i like that, i like to talk to people that i have never meet and getting to know people...but what i do not like about it is when poeple that i dont know trying to tell me that i am something that i am not...i am not trying to sound mean and i am truely sorry if my last comment made me sound like i was mean and rude...but while in your goal to change the world you should be a little nicer...just how you were talking about that site about the people and their hairstyles...i think you were kind of out of line to be mean about it and ask why they care so much..maybe thats what they want to be in life or maybe thats what makes them truley happy...whatever the reason you shouldnt think just becuz their not feeding the homeless or doing somehting to help out others their bad people...and should have to change...and while on your goal to change the world you should stop and get to know poeple and then see what you think of them..people can surprise you in ways you thought were never possiable...so instead of just jumping on people and assuming things about them you should stop and take the chance to get to know them...maybe on your way you could make some really cool friends that you never thought you would...just my suggestions.
:+:Random Not So Perfect Person:+:
hi random asshole, i would like to introduce you to foot which will find its way up your ass if i ever find out who you are, in case you were wondering..christa is possibly the f'in coolest person in the world..and you either 1. have the wrong person or 2 . need to shut the hell up before YOU find YOURSELF in a "DISASTER" oh and 3. in case YOU want to "avert disaster" i suggest you get balls and state your name/where you can be located so i can find you and kick your ass to kingdom come, thanks..and ps i would REFRAIN from leaving nasty comments on christa's xanga EVER AGAIN..
love - lauren the heartless bitch (especially when it comes to her best friends) fuck face
((i also left this on your xanga/christa's xanga..but in case you didn't go there i wanted to make sure you saw it..))
ps i think it's really cool of you to write random mean shit on other people's xanga's who you don't even know..personally i think you're a douche bag who OBVIOUSLY has issues if they find pleasure in making crap up ..
Dear Badi...
I enjoyed reading your last comment...i most say that you have actually made me think of things that i havent thought of in a while. And i do understand what you mean about the nice people geting just ran over by the ambitious liars...i've had that happen to me plenty of times...and i totally agree with you about the trust thing, we might not be able to explain everything in the world and we might not be able to make sence of things...but if we trust what our hearts and minds tell us then we should be pretty good! And I am glad to you admire my non-hostle approach....un-liek the girl that left you that other comment...i dont beleave in jumping to being angery with everyone...or when i dont like what someone says..i will talk to the person before i go that far. I like the way you think...you arent one side minded, if that makes sence to you. I hope it dose..becuz i can be confussing sometiems...but you dont just think of whats right there in your face...u think outside of that. And i most say thank you for thinking that i am a nice person...i do what i can to keep my cool and make sure that other people feel happy and at eases...Well i hope i hear from you some more.
:+:Suzanne:+:
p.s~Your a nice person your self...you come on a little stroung at first but after you get to talking with you...your really nice to talk to! Like i said before you think outside the box...and I admire that!!
Haha, Badi, what the heck was all this about (the comments I mean)? Reply on my LJ. And call me when yo get home. Turns out I may not be going to Ecuador because of money shortages (summer's slow this year for golf).
-mia
Badi...
Well i think that people should get each other a chance. And you turned out to be a pretty cool person! Yeh well my family...i dont feel safe coming home...if it was just me and my mom then i would feel completly safe...there's more info to what i said before. I just decided not to worry anyone or any of my friends. Things got worse today but im trying to look at the upside side of things. i'll have to watch that movie sometime. Thanks for the comments...i like hearing from people who think differently from the way the rest of my friends think! So Thanks Tons
:+:Suzanne:+:
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